On 22 September 2016, we lost our beautiful baby girl, Elva Holiday, to SIDS.

Elva was one week off 7 months old when we found her in her travel cot on holiday in Devon. Our lives were thrown into a state of disbelief, shock, confusion and utter devastation.

Our 3 year old son, Tadhg, has been our life saver and for his sake, we aim to live as normally as we possibly can – at least until he goes to bed.

Since we lost Elva, I’ve been writing privately to help me come to terms with the many emotions I’ve been feeling. However, as part of my grieving process, connecting with other parents who have lost a child has really helped. After all, who else can understand such pain? So, now I want to share my thoughts more openly, because maybe as I try to help myself I might help someone else.

I also want to make sure Elva isn’t forgotten. As a family, we took a lot of trips – just around the UK since Elva arrived – but we made sure we were always out and about and enjoying life. If Elva were here, it’s what we would have continued to do. So now we will aim to carry on as a family of 3 – and Elva’s beloved flamingo will accompany us on our days out.

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Family photo at Elva’s baptism on 18 September 2016 – 4 days before she died.